New York, Day 3, Part 1: We Hate the Bronx

Day three of the Dining Duo’s New York adventure, otherwise known as day one of the conference that was our official reason for being in New York. Instructions included with the conference information indicated that to get to the conference site, we could either take the train, or take the subway. They even very kindly indicated the name of the subway stop at which we should exit, upon which it would be an 8-block walk to the location. Eight blocks, that’s not too bad, right? Especially considering the mad-walking-skillz we demonstrated the day before (which is related to the mad-blister that Jennifer developed on her foot, quelle surprise).

Jennifer was concerned about having a coffee on the subway, and figuring that there would be coffee in her not-too-distant future, we skipped a breakfast visit to Starbucks and headed straight for the subway.* We felt oh-so-confident as we quickly found the correct subway and settled in for our ride into the Bronx. All was going so well – we admired the views of Harlem visible from the windows once we’d left the underground tunnels. We rolled our eyes at Yankee Stadium as we passed it, feeling we might get the snot kicked out of us if we flipped it off as we really wanted to. We shuddered at the depressing views of Bronx high-rises, complete with imaginative and ambitious graffiti liberally adorning virtually every building.

It was all going so well. And then, we ran into the problem. Due to the metro being delayed/running/behind/who knows what the problem was, our subway was turning into an express and would be bypassing our stop. You know, the stop we needed in order to get to where we needed to be. Uh-oh.

No problem, right? We’re both college-educated, well-traveled women (who like to use lots of hyphens in their writing). We’d get there. And anyway, there’s surely be lots of cabs around, just like in Manhattan, right?? Right???

Yeah, not so much. We started walking down the road, following the track thinking the next stop wouldn’t be that far away, and the main street we needed would surely be visible. That probably would have worked, except we got really freaked out by the deserted, creepy looking streets combined with the only people visible being some disreputable-looking guys. Not having “get mugged in the Bronx” on our lists of things to do, we skedaddled back to the metro station & asked the woman behind the (bullet-proof?) glass window how to get to where we needed to go. After some confusing remarks, it was settled that we should take the #26 bus. The stop was right outside the station, in front of the large building.

Amazingly enough, the stop was right outside the building (and around the corner), in front of the larg(ish) building. And we arrived there just in time to see the 26 bus pull away. But perhaps that wasn’t our bus, perhaps it was the 26 bus going in the opposite direction that we didn’t want anyway. Who knows, because neither of us could figure out what the bus stop route maps meant. Twenty minutes later, another bus arrived and because of the crush of old people climbing aboard, and Sheila’s sudden bout of hesitancy, we just climbed aboard without verifying that it was indeed the bus we needed. You can guess where this is going, can’t you?

That is correct. We were on the 26 bus, but it was the one going north and we wanted the one going south.** Eventually we realized our error and attempted to exit the bus from the doors at the back of the bus. Except the doors wouldn’t open for us, even though they’d opened quite nicely for everyone else. Giving up and not wanting to get yelled at by the driver for shoving the doors even harder than we had been, we maneuvered our way to the front, only to be yelled at by the driver for exiting out the front door, because the back doors were unlocked so what was our problem? Didn’t we know that all we had to do was push on the yellow strip on the edge of the door. Stupid us for not intuiting that. Thanks for all the help, fellow bus-riders who just watched us trying to get the doors open by pushing everywhere else on the door except for the yellow strip.

At this point, Jennifer would like to remind everyone that she has had no coffee or any other sustenance. Just imagine her lovely mood. Sunshine and roses people. Sunshine and roses.

Crossing the street on the theory that the correct bus would surely eventually make its way to us, we tried again without success to decipher the bus stop route map. We were somewhat smarter when the next bus arrived, asking before boarding if it would take us near our final destination. It’s fortunate we did, because the first 26 bus wouldn’t be going there, but the driver promised us the next one would. Not taking his word for it, we verified it with the driver of the next bus once it finally arrived. After much consideration, he agreed that he would be stopping somewhere within walking distance of our destination. He even promised to let us know when we should exit the bus. Abandoning all hope of not looking like idiots, we were delighted when a fellow passenger took pity on us and warned us when our stop was approaching, and when exactly we should get off the bus. Our self-sufficiency returned then when we recognized the name of the street we were on and headed off in what we hoped was the correct direction. Six loooooonnnnng blocks later, we stumbled into the grounds of the meeting location.

Just in time for lunch. Which was a good thing, because Jennifer was about to start gnawing on anything remotely edible-looking she found.

So, things we learned:

1. Don’t trust the info provided. Always bring your own map. If we had, we would have seen the way to walk from the alternate station and could have easily made it there much quicker than we did with our bus fiasco.
2. Ask questions. Lots of them. It’s ok, you’re a tourist and people are already thinking you’re dumb. Go ahead and admit it and just ask already. This could have avoided the side bus trip we took.
3. The Bronx sucks. Really. It’s depressing and we hated it and couldn’t wait to get back to Manhattan.
4. Walking through random neighborhoods in the Bronx also sucks. And is definitely not something we would want to do in anything other than broad daylight. And really not even then.
5. If you meet someone from the Bronx, the correct response is: “I’m sorry.”
6. Free booze and appetizers isn’t enough to keep us in the Bronx any longer than absolutely required. We’ll buy our own drinks thankyouverymuch. In Manhattan.
7. If you’re going to the New York Botanical Garden, and have the option of taking the subway or the train, for God’s sake, TAKE THE TRAIN!!! There’s a stop right across the street. No sketchy neighborhoods! No closed subway stations screwing you over! No long walks from the station! It’s worth the extra $2.50 so just take the train!
8. If you’re ever in charge of providing transportion information to conference-goers, and one option is clearly preferred (see item 7, above), please make that abundantly clear in the information packet. Don’t just say “you can take the train or subway” as if it really doesn’t make any difference which one you take, unless it really doesn’t make a difference. (Note to the NYBG: in your case, it makes a difference).
9. Buy the day pass for the subway. It provides unlimited subway and bus rides. So even if you’re screwing up and doing lots of bus hopping, at least you’re not fumbling for money each time.
10. You can’t count on finding a taxi once you leave Manhattan. Apparently cab drivers hate the Bronx too and avoid it.
11. Just stay in Manhattan. It’s way better.
12. If you can’t stay in Manhattan, at least get coffee and a muffin before you leave.

* Well, Sheila had a Dr. Pepper in the hotel room, along with a big piece of home-baked banana bread she’d brought along. Jennifer declined to have any of the bread, so what followed was really her own fault, you know?

**Or vice versa, or possibly east-west versus west-east because honestly we still don’t know which direction we were headed and don’t care enough to Google it to try and figure it out. We’re trying to forget this day.

The Donut Shop

Back for another round at the Donut Shop. Jennifer and Sheila knew it would be the perfect lunch spot for their co-worker who appreciates a good deal (we shall refrain from calling her cheap). Venturing out on a cold, dreary Indiana day, the threesome stepped into the cozy, un-pretentious confines of the Donut Shop. The place is tucked back off the road and Jennifer depended on Sheila to help her spot the place. What is happening to Jennifer? Have the trips to Zest, which for the Duo have become hilarious circuitous trips through South Broad Ripple looking for the eatery, affected her sense of geographical judgment? Hopefully not.

Upon settling down into a booth and ordering drinks, it was decision time. Luckily for Sheila, she did not have to continue to meet the stare of a hairy man at the counter unlike the previous visit. Jennifer debated getting the tasty tuna melt, but thought she should try something new and went with a cheeseburger and a side of onion rings. Sheila, not failing us in her “Best Philly Cheese Steak in Indy Quest”* ordered the aforementioned sandwich with a side of onion rings. Our co-worker, another Jennifer, forever now to be known as Jennifer2, considered the options carefully, but finally settled on the chicken melt.

Ah, the rings. Believe us when we say these are the best onion rings in Indy. Actually, all three of us deemed them the best rings we’ve had in our lives. They are that good. The batter is perfect and you don’t have to fear the whole onion sliding out when taking a bite. Perfection, plain and simple. Of course, we knew the rings would be good, but what about the sandwiches? Jennifer’s burger was good–she chose a slice of Swiss to accompany the lettuce, tomato and mayo. The burger definitely hits the spot.

Sheila felt her Philly Cheesesteak was the best she has had so far in Indianpolis. The meat is thinly sliced and deliciously grilled, and the onions and peppers perfectly cooked. Gooey American cheese tops it all off, and the bun is soft and tasty. Far far better than the poor offering at Shelbi Street. (Swiss cheese was offered as an alternative, but Sheila wanted that mutant-orange color of good old processed American cheese. )

Jennifer2’s chicken melt consisted of melted swiss cheese and sautéed onions, green peppers, and mushrooms on rye bread. In her own words, it was

Very tasty! And hot…which is always good when you are expecting the “melted” part to be actually…well….melted!! The best part, though, and I have to agree wholeheartedly with the Dining Duo was the onion rings!!! Excellent!! Fabulous!!! Well worth it!

The Donut Shop was an interesting experience, in a good way, though! The ambiance was a little sketchy at first, right when you pull up, but usually the so called “hole in the wall” restaurants are really good eatin’!**

While at the register to pay, the lunch goers also purchased a donut. Well, Jennifer2 ordered one donut while the Duo chose two each. We do appreciate our co-worker’s restraint, but dang, there are just too many tasty options to choose from to only pick one! Jennifer ordered a chocolate donut (she wanted the cake with chocolate icing but upon later inspection saw that it was a yeast with chocolate icing, no biggie) and a yeast donut with maple icing. Sheila got a glazed yeast (honeydip) and yeast with maple. It takes amazing restraint to not tear into these lovely confections at once, but the Duo did their best and waited until they returned to work and were seated at their desks. Simply put, the donuts are fantastic. I mean, you can’t really call a restaurant “The Donut Shop” and not deliver on the tasty treats. Jennifer2 agreed:

The donut, well, a close second to the onion rings…very tasty!!! LOVE the cream!!!”

Bottom line, there is no where else in town where you can get a meal and two donuts for just over six bucks. The Donut Shop rocks! We shall close with more timeless words of Jennifer2:

Thumbs up for me and hope to go again!!

Food***
Service**
Atmosphere * (you don’t go here for atmosphere)
Overall ***

*Bit of info that may only be of interest to Sheila, but what the hell, she’ll share anyway. One of the worst Philly Cheese Steaks she ever had was in Philly. Maybe it was just the wrong place to try it – it wasn’t from one of the big two (Pat’s or Geno’s) that are always mentioned as great places to get them. If it had been her first introduction to the sandwich, she might never have had another. It might have been the Cheez Whiz that was used because she thinks Cheez Whiz is revolting and undeserving of even being considered cheese. And yes, she appreciates the ridiculousness of stating that when she just admitting to eating it with American cheese.  Honestly, she’d prefers them with provolone.

**Ahh, yes, “really good eatin’” is what we aim to find. Perhaps we should consider that our motto: The Dining Duo: searching Indy for really good eatin’

New York, Day 2, Part 2: Duke’s

Once the Dining Duo had recovered from our own version of the New York Marathon, we made our way out of the hotel and headed for Duke’s, which we’d noticed the night before on our way to Hudson Place. The atmosphere is very casual with bright lighting, multi-colored Christmas lights, loud music, fairly tacky yet fun and interesting decor, and lots of TVs visible.

Figuring we’d earned it with our long day, we each ordered an adult beverage – Jennifer selected a beer, going for the Sam Adams Oktoberfest. Surprisingly, considering her loathing for regular Sam Adams, she really like it and was glad she’d been brave and tried something new. Sheila ordered the house margarita, and was underwhelmed with it, especially after she found out it was $8.50. No way it was worth that, especially when compared to some of the drinks that were to come …

No appetizers for us, although there are several of the soup/chicken tenders/chips & salsa variety. Jennifer went for a sandwich, after much debate settling on The Roadhouse – chicken-fried steak with avocado, pickled jalapenos, bacon, jack cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, and ranch sauce. It was served on a toasted bun with french fries and cole slaw. And it was even bigger than its description might imply – the thing was HUGE! She was initially concerned about how she’d manage to eat it, but she’s a trooper and managed it quite well, and was barely pulled away from it long enough to share a bite of it with Sheila. Jennifer thought the blend of ingredients was great; she’d had her doubts about the avocado but felt it was a nice touch. And, of course, “melted cheese makes everything better.” The cole slaw was good, but the portion was teensy (maybe to balance out the huge sandwich?) The only disappointment was the french fries – we weren’t that fond of them, feeling they were too similar to Burger King’s.

Sheila unwisely did not order a sandwich or any of the fried entrees, instead getting the chopped veggie salad with the thought that the day’s nutritional consumption had been light on anything other than carbs or fat. Alas, this is not an establishment that emphasizes their salads apparently, and it really wasn’t very good. Supposedly it had grilled zucchini and squash, asparagus, sweet onions, tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers, artichoke hearts & mixed greens, with a sherry shallot dressing, and the optional grilled chicken. The first complaint was that the onions were definitely not sweet – they were raw red onions (gross!). Lots of iceberg lettuce which wasn’t listed as an ingredient, and the asparagus was few and far between. On the positive side, the grilled zucchini & squash were delicious, the dressing was very good, and there was a generous amount of chicken.

Since we’d been so good at passing up the tempting nachos grande appetizer, we felt we were deserving of dessert. Oh, please, we were going to have dessert no matter what else we’d had. Jennifer went for the Mississippi Mud Pie, and although she really liked it, it had a coffee flavor and wasn’t like the Mississippi Mud Pies with which she’s familiar.* The portion size was very generous and it wasn’t overly sweet. All in all, much better than the cake she’d had the night before at Hudson Place.

Sheila briefly considered the Chocolate Brownie Sundae (with vanilla ice cream, natch) but was immediately swayed to select the fruit cobbler once she was told that it was peach. Once again, she was in for a big disappointment because the cobbler turned out to be not peach, but apple cranberry. Boo hiss. Apple cranberry is fine and good, but not when one is expecting peach, and especially not when one is expecting peach and has also had an apple dessert just the night before, thereby filling her apple dessert quota for the next month at least. The crust was also thought to be gaggingly** doughy, and this by someone who loves doughy food.

The service was very nicely paced and we weren’t rushed at all. There were some language difficulties with the server (is the word for “apple” close to “peach” in Russian?) but other than that she did a great job, especially with water refills.

Food **
Service **
Atmosphere **
Overall **

Duke’s New York
560 3rd Ave.

*Sheila thought she was crazy because she was only familiar with coffee-flavored versions so the recipe was Googled & lo and behold, they’re both right – there are coffee and coffee-free versions of the pie. Now we know.

**Yes, Sheila realizes gaggingly is not a word.  She made it up.  She’d had a big-ass margarita and was crabby over the non-peach cobbler so she can make up words.